Heartache, Heartbreak
by GoddessofSnark
Summary: Eh, it needs a title and a summary, but to cut it short, our favorite couple breaks up, and what ensues after it.
1. A Trail of Blood and Tears

A/N: This is a fic that I have to thank Kristi for again. She can really inspire somebody. Well, I don't own Riff or Mags..they belong to the omnipotent Ritzy (bows down) well, anyways, here's the fic..more on the way!  
  
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I looked at him. He'd tired himself out. He always was the jealous type. Always had been, probably always will be. I gently pulled myself out of his grasp, and got up. He looked so handsome. I didn't want to leave him, but I didn't want another recap of tonight.  
  
There already had been enough nights like this one. There already had been enough pain, enough suffering on my part. I wasn't going to put up with any more. I had to leave. I had to get away from him.  
  
As much as I loved him. As much as I never wanted to leave him, I couldn't put up with him anymore. I knew that he loved me too, but he seemed to have a really funny way of showing it. I just had to get away. I didn't want to hurt him, I knew leaving would hurt him more than he could ever hurt me, but I had my own life to live.  
  
I snuck over to the closet, wincing with every step that I took. I had sprained my ankle, I was almost sure of it. I quickly packed my a small bag, and gently opened the door to our bedroom. I walked into the kitchen, and found a pad of paper on which I scrawled out a note.  
  
I grabbed an apple from the counter, and walked out. As I passed the bathroom on the way to the door I looked in on the mirror. I had a fat lip and a black eye. I was actually rather reminiscent of Eddie, with all my bruises.  
  
This hadn't been the first time that he'd hurt me. And I was positive that it wouldn't be the last. Not until I put a stop to it. But this one had certainly been the worst one so far. How far would he go the next time? And what would trigger it next time? I couldn't take those risks. He wasn't as different from Frank as he thought he was.  
  
I gave one last look at our house. I had picked it out. He didn't want it at first, but quickly grew to like it. Now he took pride in doing everything for it. I looked up at the bedroom that we had shared so many wonderful nights, and I could feel a lump in my throat grow.  
  
I turned my back on the house and began walking down the front path. As I left, the tears started to fall, staining the sidewalk with soon to be forgotten memories of a life well spent. A life that was now behind me. As I left our block, I left a trail of blood and tears behind. 


	2. Dearest Riffy

A/N Disclaimers are in Part 1, and this part's from Riff's POV. I'm still in desperate needing of a title…….hint hint! But anyways, on with the fic!

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When I woke up the next morning, I automatically reached out for her. My hand patted the other side of the bed trying to find her. When I found her side of the bed empty and cold, it woke me up slightly more. I shook my head to dull my headache slightly, and then opened my eyes. No, she definitely wasn't in bed. Not even in the bedroom. 

I slung my legs off the bed and gently stood up. I wobbled slightly, but managed to make my way to the closet. When I threw it open, I found her side almost empty. I was enraged. I threw on my robe and stormed downstairs. When I got to kitchen, I found a note written in her familiar loopy handwriting.

_Dear Riff,_

It started off so formal, so detached. But what did I expect? "Dearest Riffy?"

_I'm sorry, but I had to leave. I just can't stay here anymore. I love you, I love you so much I can't even begin to describe it. But I can't take any more of this. Move on. Get along without me._

_Magenta_

My hands shook, both with anger and with sadness. "I'm SORRY?" how could she even have the nerve to apologize about what she did? And then she claims that she loves me? I was ready to rip the note in half. 

I stormed into the living room. But when I looked down at the carpet, I began to realize why she left. The luscious beige padding was covered with the all-too-familiar red-brown specs of blood. Had I really done that to her?

My head fell into my hands. I had done that to her. That was her blood on the carpet. The blood that fell because of me. I was a poor excuse of a lover, and an even poorer excuse of a man. 

But I could never get along without her. I needed her. She was my life. What possessed me to attack her? I had always used the excuse that I loved her too much. I loved her so much that I smothered her, I didn't let her do anything. But if I really loved her, then why would I beat her?

I got up from the couch, and as I walked out of the living room, the lump in my throat growing. I tried to fight it down. I tried to stop the tears from falling. But even all my willpower couldn't stop it. As I walked back to the bedroom, each step was marked with a teardrop, and a memory. 


	3. Never forgive, Never Forget

A/N here's chapter 3! Disclaimers in part one, yada yada yada, this is from Magenta's POV, enjoy!  
  
My red hair fell limply down to my shoulders. It'd been so long since it'd had a good washing and blow drying. I stared into my face. The black eye had almost disappeared, and the swelling on the fat lip had gone away, and my ankle barely hurt anymore, but that didn't stop the pain. Not the physical pain, but the emotional pain. The scars he left when he delivered those blows.  
  
The scars he left ran deeper than any of the fine lines that crisscrossed his back. The scars he left me crisscrossed over my heart. I knew how much he loved me. I knew how much he just wanted to keep me safe, and keep me HIS. He wanted me to be solely his, wanted me to be waiting for him every day. I saw the way he treated Columbia. Only cause I went to her when he was in one of his moods.  
  
And now I was here. He poked his head through the door. He had been so kind to me, taking me in and all. He asked me if I needed anything before he went out, wherever he was going. I wandered through his apartment, trying to find something to do. I eventually gave up, and went back to the spare bedroom that I was staying in.  
  
John had been a lifeline for me. He'd found me wandering around, limping on my sprained ankle, the day after I left. He'd stopped me, and brought me back to his place. He always had been kind to me, one of the few that talked to me when we were in school. And now he provided a place for me to stay until I get my own place, a place where Riff couldn't find me.  
  
I collapsed onto the large bed and stared at the ceiling. I swear that I could see Riff's face in the ceiling. I fought to get rid of the thought. The sooner I put him behind me, the better. Did I still love him? yes. The only answer that question was yes. Could I stand him anymore? Would I go back to him? no and no. I'd never forgive him, and I'd never forget him. 


	4. Me and My Temper

A/N wow, I wrote two chapters in one hour! Well, here's part four, from Riff's POV. Enjoy it, it WILL get better. I swear! Disclaimers in part one.  
  
The days dragged on and on. Everyone could sense that something was wrong, but no one wanted to say anything, afraid to set me off. Someone tried it, and I came very near to killing him. it was funny, it seemed as if I was growing stronger on the outside, when on the inside I was slowly falling apart.  
  
I sickened myself. It was my fault she was gone. What would someone do if they learned that they're beloved general cried himself to sleep every night? And he wallowed in self-pity. Cause that's what's happened to me. I cry every night as I realize that it's my fault that I'm sleeping alone.  
  
But on the outside I was growing stronger from this. I fed off of my depression, I poured myself into work. The troops were starting to hate me, after all, they didn't have the same motivation I had. I would spend full days, and then full nights either on the relatively calm battlefield, or in the planning room, trying to prevent any skirmishes.  
  
My heart and my gut wrenched at the same time. I felt the tears fighting to fall. And I tried to stop them, as usual. But yet, as always, the fell, staining the pillow. Had it really been two weeks? It seemed like an eternity, and yet seemed like nothing.  
  
I missed her so much. The one thing that I questioned was what would I do if I saw her again. Would I hurt her? Or would I welcome her back? Odds are I would end up hurting her. I missed her so much that it hurt me. And when I got hurt, someone else also did. I felt myself starting to sob as I thought of why she was gone. Me and my damn temper. 


	5. More of a Brother

A/N Laughtenberg won! YAY! After I almost run over Forrester this morning. Oh well, well, here's the next part. If you haven't noticed, each chapter switches POV's, the first was Magenta, the second was Riff, the third was Mags, the fourth was Riff, and so on and so on. So, enjoy! Disclaimers in pt 1, but John's MINE! All MINE!  
  
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It'd been almost a month now, and with each passing day, I'd grown more and more attached to this place. John was so kind, so caring, so understanding. He could relate to what I went through. So far, he hadn't mentioned Riff, and didn't try to make any romantic moves on me. He acted more like a big brother than a friend and roommate.  
  
Brother, that was the one thing Riff never had been. Riff had been everything else to me, but he never quite was my brother. A lover, a friend, a partner, but never a brother. John however, watched out for me. He always made sure I was well cared for, always made sure that everything was alright with me. He could cheer me up when I wasn't feeling well, or when I was thinking about Riff.  
  
I didn't want to leave his house. But I also didn't want to overstay my welcome. Sure, I helped out, I cleaned, cooked, and took care of his apartment, but there really wasn't much TO take care of. I didn't think I was earning my keep. I kept an eye, and ear out for any word of a job, or a place to stay, but I didn't want Riff to find out.  
  
When John came home that night he looked more than slightly upset, and at the same time, looked very angry. I looked at him quizzically, trying to pry an answer out of him. "You can't leave here." He said simply. He dropped his briefcase down at it's familiar spot.  
  
"Why not?" I asked, relived. I didn't want to leave. I loved this place. I almost loved him.  
  
"Because Riff's looking for you." He said, and sighed. He'd never liked to say more than he had to. When he looked at me, he offered an explination. "I saw what he did to you. That's why you're here. I don't want him to hurt you again. I don't know what he'll do to you. Stay here, and lie low." He said, patting my shoulder, before retreating to his bedroom. He was more of a brother than Riff ever was. 


	6. The Search Begins

A/N Disclaimers in Chap. 1, here's the next chapter, more of Riff brooding and being depressed, hehehe! Well, enjoy it! And pick up this weeks TV guide if you're in the US! PIERCE!  
  
I looked at the small calander that sat on the desk. A month. That was it? And yet as short as that month had seemed, it had also been unbareably long. The pain, the pain was still so fresh. The pain still seared through me, still ripped my heart apart. But it had been so long since I had seen her. It had been so long since her vibrant presence had graced our house.  
  
I missed her. There was no doubting that. I also loved her. I loved her so much. More than I had ever told her. More than I ever expressed it. There was an old quote I had heard one time, "You never know the worth of the water until the well runs dry." Well, I'd never heard truer words than those. I never quite realized how much Magenta meant to me until then.  
  
I cringed at the thought of her name. Just thinking about her made the lump in my throat grow. Her read hair, her deep, dark eyes, her pale skin, how she always saw the opposite of my view. While I saw things as deep, dark and depressing, she saw the happy side to things. I tried to fight these thoughts. I was trying to get over her. I was trying to get past her and to move on. Just like she told me to in her note.  
  
Her note. I'd almost had that thing framed. It was already crumpled and tattered from being read over so many times. I can't move on. I know I can't. I got up from my small chair and looked out the window, a distant look in my eyes. She was out there somewhere, I knew it. I had to go looking for her. I had to find her, make amends for what I had done. I walked out of the library and began my search, hoping, and praying, that I'd find her. 


	7. Could I Ever Find Another Riff?

A/N I'm still in need of a title! Some of you like Heartache, Hearbreak, but I don't, so if any of you want to come up with something better, please tell me. Well, anyways, here's part 7,do enjoy it, I enjoy writing this!  
  
Over the next week I pondered what John had said. Riff was looking for me. Why? I really don't know, but I wanted to find out. John as trying to be as overprotective as he could, without suffocating me like Riff had. He was pretty much trying to be the exact opposite of Riff.  
  
It was a much needed break. I needed to be with someone who wasn't Riff. But yet, at the same time, I still missed Riff. I didn't regret that I left him, but I still wanted him. I longed to find a happy medium. Someone with all of the wonderful traits I missed in Riff, but without Riff's short temper. But it was then that I realized that I could never find another Riff.  
  
John was the nearest thing I had to another Riff. He was just as kind and wonderful and caring as Riff could be, and he could control his temper better. But he thought thing through too much. He was too methodical. Riff, yes, Riff thought things through a lot, but he also had a spontaneous side to him. he was unpredictable.  
  
As I thought about this, I tried to shake the thought of Riff from my head. I left him, for good reason. I wasn't going to go back. I was going to stay here until Riff gave up looking for me, and then find a place on my own. And forget about Riff forever. Put him behind me. Forget about him and move on with my life. And try to find someone to take his place. But could I ever find another Riff? 


	8. The Hopless Search

A/N Disclaimers in part one, enjoy this!  
  
The streets seemed so empty, so deserted as I wandered them. My search had lost all direction. It had grown into nothing more than a search driven only by hope. All I did was hope to find her. It was almost useless. Wherever she was, she had sure found a way to hide from me. I could see why too. Why would anyone want to return to me?  
  
I was cold, cruel, manipulative. I thought every move through, well, almost every move. Her vibrant presence used to be able to drive me to do random things. Usually passionate ones. I couldn't even think of anything passionate anymore. Just the word brings memories of her to my mind.  
  
As I wandered the streets I found myself heading towards the park that divided the slums from the high class area. I remembered a time when we had been on the other side of the park, and I used to wander the edge of it, trying to find a way out. Well, I had found it. And now look where I was. Wandering the edge of the park, looking back at the slums.  
  
As I walked down the tree lined lane, I remembered all the time we had spent here. Why couldn't I get her out of my head? I wanted so much to just forget about her. But if I could, then I wouldn't be searching for her, would I? As I wandered lost in thought, a wesely looking man, with limp greasy hair slunk up to me.  
  
"You wouldn't happen ta be the gen'ral that them all are talkin' 'bout, would ya?"  
  
"it depends on which general you're looking for."  
  
"the one that happens t'be lookin' for his sister, that one." I was suddenly intrigued by this man.  
  
"That could be me, what information do you have."  
  
"I can tell ya where she's stayin'." This man now held my full attention.  
  
"Well, where is she?" I asked after he paused for a minute. He stuck out his hand and rubbed his thumb and forefinger together.  
  
"Pay up first." He said, his voice suddenly darker and more serious. I pulled my wallet out, and held out some money. He took it and counted it. "A guy named John. Lives over not to far from here." He said, and slunk off before I could say anymore. My search was no longer hopeless. I knew who John was and where he lived. He and Magenta had grown up together, and she'd kept in touch with her. I turned around and set off towards his house, unsure of what I'd do to him. 


	9. Guess Who's Come For Dinner?

A/N another part! Hehe! Disclaimers in part one, do enjoy. And don't expect anything else until at least Monday, my sis's wedding tomorrow!! YAY!  
  
It had been so long since I'd seen him, I'd almost forgotten about him. Almost being the operative word there. There were still minutes where I thought of him. still minutes where his face flashed in front of my eyes and my eyes welled with tears as I realized that he was no longer part of my life. But it was during those moments when I realized how much better off I was here. Away from him.  
  
As I cooked dinner, waiting for John to get home, I thought of all the things I was going to do. The first month, this path month, I spent as much time as possible trying to get past him. get over him. Now I was focusing on my future. I was planning my new life. And I was ecstatic over how well I was getting along.  
  
I busied myself around the kitchen, after all, it was the least I could do to help John out, after all, he was providing me a free place to stay. I heard the door rattle, and I grinned. I had found a job, and I couldn't wait to tell John. I heard the lock slip back as I put the finishing touches on dinner. But when the door opened, it wasn't who I expected.  
  
Instead of the familiar round, cheery face of John, there was another all too familiar face. The pale blonde hair, the gaunt face, it brought back memories. "Hello." He said, dryly, sarcastically, looking around. "Nice place." He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, as he came closer to me.  
  
"Riff!" I said, out of pure shock. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say something. I wanted to kick him out. But I wanted to fall into his arms.  
  
"Who'd you expect, Frank? Or maybe your new boyfriend?" he said, stepping behind me, and placing a hand around my waist. "What made you leave? Why did you leave me when I was so vunerable?" He asked me. I was almost positive he'd snapped. Did I do this to him?  
  
"Riff, I um-" I tried to speak, I tried to give him an explination. But I couldn't think of one. He ran his hands through my hair.  
  
"I love you Magenta. But you refuse to realize that. What am I going to do about you"  
  
"Leave." Said a third voice. John had come home. "Leave now, before I force you out." Riff almost lept away from me, and stared at John, his eyes full of venom.  
  
"You're going to have to make me leave Magenta." He said, his voice dropping almost to a growl before he rushed at John, snarling. 


	10. The Fight

A/N SAPPINESS ALERT. Ok, this is a short, sappy, chapter. I've never been good at writing fight scenes, so instead I went for the sappiness. Well, disclaimers in part one, enjoy.  
  
He was just as I remembered him. Only now he seemed evil. He'd taken my Magenta away from me. I hated him for it. If it wasn't for him, Magenta would have come back to me, I knew it. She loved me. I could tell, her heart had raced, and her breathing grew shallow when I had encircled her.  
  
I had one thought, to remove the one thing stopping me from getting Magenta back. As I lept at him, I pummeled him with my fists. He tried to fight me, but he couldn't put up with my fury. I heard Magenta telling me to stop, I could hear her sobbing. But it never quite registered.  
  
It wasn't until he went unconscious, and Magenta pulled me off that I realized what I had done. There lay John, bleeding, bruised, and unconscious, all because of me. It was I who'd done all that damage. I rolled over, on the floor next to John, and felt sickened over what I had done.  
  
Had I really done something similar to Magenta? Was it possible for me to become such a monster? Obviously so. I broke down. I couldn't stand it, I couldn't belive that I had done this. They say love does strange things to people, but this was definitely one of the strangest.  
  
As I lay sobbing, Magenta came up to me, and gently cradled my head. I cried into her, letting all my pride and thought slip away. And she just sat there, she just sat there comforting me. I loved her, and I prayed, I prayed dearly that she loved me too. 


	11. Please, Magenta

A/N Wow....after a rewrite, this chapter came out SOOO much better! Thanx to Kristi for telling me where the original sucked! My sis is officially married too! Wow..Bond comes out next Friday!  
  
I gently cradled his head, not knowing what to do. I wanted nothing more than to sit there, and hold him close forever. But at the same time, I wanted to scream at him, throw something at him, kick him out. But when I glanced down at him, my heart melted. He was so tender looking, so vunerable. I stroked what little hair he had, trying to soothe him as much as possible.  
  
I looked over at John, and what he'd done to him. I knew he wanted me back, why else would he come searching for me? I felt sorry for him in a way, who knew what was running through that head of his? Who knew that he'd almost kill to get me back?  
  
He propped himself up on a shaky arm, and slowly sat him. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, trying hard to calm down. He took a few deep breaths and ran a hand down his face. "Are you alright?" I asked him. I may not have shown it, I may not have wanted to go back to him, but I still did care about him. He was my brother after all.  
  
"I will be." He said raggedly. I wanted nothing more than wrap my arms and hold him in a tight embrace and tell him everything was going to be just fine. But I'd be a hypocrite. He looked like such a little child, so open, so meek and mild, all I wanted to do was protect him from everything.  
  
He lifted his head up and stared deep into my eyes. I tried to search his expression for any clue of what he was doing, but I couldn't find any. "Magenta," he started, and his voice almost cracked as he said my name. had he even said my name since I'd left? From the way he said it, it sounded like he hadn't.  
  
"Magenta, I need you. Come back with me, please. Forget about this, forget about John, and come with me" I was shell shocked. Did he really expect me to leave my life to go back to him? I looked deep into his eyes, his wonderful hazel eyes, now red rimmed from the tears he'd been crying, trying to find out how much he meant it. I opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off. "Please, Magenta, I need you so much. It's been hell since you left." He paused, and took another deep breath.  
  
Did he really mean what he was saying? Did he really need me as much as he claimed? He looked like he'd been through hell. I pitied him. But I also pitied myself. I was starting to crumble, starting to crack. I was starting to think about going back to him. It was then that he drove the final blow. "Please, Magenta, I love you." Those words, those three simple words, held so much meaning. 


	12. Titles are not my strong point

A/N Ok, this part is complete crap, and it's not done......yet.....as one of the 7 Waynes brothers would say "But wait! They'rshe More!" hehe! Enjoy!  
  
I looked at her. I tried to look steady, but found it hard as I awaited what she'd say. In all our lives I had never told her that and really meant it. Not until now. As calm as seemed, I was nervous on the inside. All I wanted was for her to say yes, to say she'd come back to me.  
  
I lit another cigarette, and took a long drag on it, trying desperately to calm my ragged nerves. She was thinking about this, trying to sort out everything I had said. I looked at John, and tried to stay calm. I tried to figure out how badly hurt he was, while Magenta was thinking. Not that badly, just a lot of bruises, and a broken nose it looked like.  
  
"Riff," My attention was now fully focused on her. I took in her beautiful face, and waited for her to answer.  
  
"What?" I asked softly. I didn't want to risk scaring her away again.  
  
"I-I will." I sat there for a second, almost not beliving what I heard, before I broke out into a grin. Me, who almost never even smiled, grinning broadly. I had to fight the urge to jump up and cheer. Instead, I swept her up into my arms, and pulled her tight.  
  
I had hugged her so tightly her feet came up off the ground, and I spun her around. I gently set her down, and told her I loved her again. But when she looked down, it was rather obvious that we had to do something about John. After all, he was blocking the door.  
  
She gently picked him up, and checked him over for anything serious. She tried to drag him to the sofa, and I gently moved her out of the way and did it for her. She tossed a blanket over him, and smiled. I stepped up behind her and hugged her again, kissing the top of her head. I was so happy, so relieved. What would I have done if she hadn't come back to me? Even I didn't want to think of that. 


	13. The Last Chapter

A/N here's the "last" part...*laughs demonically* but do remember what was said in the prequel to one of the WORST Tim flix ever (also mentioned in a previous chapter) hehe, hehehehehe, just call me Loki....Ishmael (Jason Lee *drools*) and Bartleby'd work too....ah well, do enjoy! And thanx to all of you who've reviewed, wow.I never thought I'd break the twenty review mark! I owe it all to you, the wonderful readers!  
  
All during the walk home, I found myself deep in thought. I had turned around on everything that I had sworn to myself. I had double crossed myself. I had vowed that I wouldn't go back to him, and yet, here we were, walking home. Home.  
  
No matter, I would probably always consider it home. My home. Not just Riff's home, but my home. Our home. Even if I hadn't gone back it would still be my home. Even if I never saw the place again, I could probably still walk through it in my thoughts and dreams. After all, I had picked it out, I had decorated it, and here I was, going home, with him.  
  
Him. My brother. But he was so much more than a brother to me. A friend, a confidant, and most of all, a lover. He had always been there for me, and I always would love him. No matter what. Even when I was with John, I still loved him, I still thought of him every night. I still would, although it would be a bit easier with him next to me.  
  
As we got to our house, Riff paused, and grinned at me. He'd been smiling the entire walk back, and I could tell he was truly happy. He hardly ever smiled normally, much less grinned. I grinned back, and watched as his face softened.  
  
He bent down slightly, and shocked me as he swept me off my feet like a bride. I laughed, and so did he, the first real laugh I had heard from him in god knows how long. He carried me into the house, laughing all the way. He spun around, and set me down, before kissing me hard on the lips. "I love you." He said again, and I knew he meant it. 


End file.
